so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
