so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
