we're blogging at a bar
Your tits are I can't wait for
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
