so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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