With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Operation Purity has been aborted
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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