but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Randomize
