Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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