Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
