Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Randomize
