Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
