one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
