somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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