Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
