I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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