it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
