no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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