I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize