He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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