Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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