Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
