I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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