those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
