I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize