Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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