in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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