Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
