Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
