I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
