how can u be prego again
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
