I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
