You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
