So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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