you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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