too bad you live with your parents still
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
