this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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