Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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