if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
