Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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