exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
