something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
