Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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