theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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