Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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