Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
