it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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