I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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