So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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