There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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