dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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