she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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