So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
