Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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