my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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