he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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