i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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