Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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