I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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