Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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