I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I want to fling myself into the sun
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
