Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
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