I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
