Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
