you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
