I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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